Cooperation: Open Adoption Style

There is no running away from my adoption. There's no chance it'll undo itself. At this point, I've done all that I can to make the best of the situation. The thing is, when you have a baby with a guy who is bipolar on his good days and downright evil on his worst days, breaking up and never talking to him again doesn't actually work! Because I'm tied to him, I'm tied to the adoption, and even though I can be a big girl and suck it up, he's still demanding to get his way. 

I'm trying to go see my baby sometime this summer. It's been 4 months and that's one month too long. I'm desperate to get him back in my arms and see that ridiculously perfect smile. 

Andy and I made a deal about seeing Ben: I would see him every three months, and Andy would only see him once a year, and he would only do that with me (as one of my 4 times.) Unfortunately, since there are no actual binding contracts with openness, you kind of just hope that everyone does what they say they're going to do. Here's the thing, I'm doing my part and he just wants to destroy all of our agreements because he's had an epiphany: apparently he started caring/missing Ben. Just now. Three years too late. NOW he wants to be a family. NOW he wants to make it all right with me. NOW he wants to try again. He's demanding to see the baby by himself (which scares the hell out of me since he's the poster child of domestic violence) because he doesn't want to be around my husband; that's so immature that I can't even. And I can't do anything to protect my sweet baby except for trying to convince Ben's parents to be very, very watchful. 

It's legitimately driving me crazy. I need to protect Ben. Giving him to his adoptive parents was the ultimate protection from his abuser birthfather, but they're going to keep letting him see the baby; the same guy who wanted me to terminate the pregnancy for the entire duration of the pregnancy, the same guy who punched me for talking to my baby belly, the same guy who hit and kicked and screamed at me for being sad 'still' about losing my baby. The same guy who doesn't even tell people he had a son, because it brings him too much shame. 

My sweet baby.