November is National Adoption Awareness Month! Despite the fact that many people are affected by adoption in some way, people don't really talk about it, or understand it. I wanted to make a post with some more facts on adoption, and maybe answer some questions. #knittogetherbyadoption has a daily prompt which I used as a base to my post. This is part 1 of 2. Follow along with other's stories on Instagram using the hashtag. The goal is awareness.
Fact:
One of the saddest facts about this fallen world is that delivering a baby
costs an average of $3,500 (not including prenatal visits,) an adoption can
cost up to $50,000; an abortion is only $350.
Introduction:
I became pregnant in my senior year of high school; my boyfriend didn’t want to
have a baby and I am against abortion. I chose my couple after looking on the
LDS adoption website. I decided I would be just a birthmother before my first
trimester even ended.
Your
thoughts before on adoption: I knew only one birthmother and had read her
story when I was about 16 thinking “Oh, that’s kind of sad.” To me, adoption
wasn’t really an option; if you get pregnant, you become a parent, right?
Obviously you would keep your baby and get married and live happily ever after,
right?
Your
thoughts after on adoption: Adoption can be the best option! Being a
single, poor, uneducated mother, versus killing your baby, versus creating a
beautiful baby to give to an amazing, deserving couple. Being a birthmother is
agonizing. Being a hopeful adopter is agonizing. Watching girls take their
babies for granted is infuriating. Reading adoption stories or hopeful adoptive
couple’s stories is heart-wrenching. But adoption is beautiful.
How we
met: I met my adoptive couple at the end of August, 2014. They drove down
to Logan, Utah to have dinner with me. I wasn’t even showing yet. We talked and
ate for about two hours, asking a lot of questions about my life and pregnancy
and their side of the adoption. It was amazing, and there was surprisingly no
pressure. I felt like they were already a major part of my life, and I was so
glad that the connection we had made through emails became even stronger.
What
makes you smile: Ben! His mom sends me pictures of him being adorable and
it is so wonderful. I love getting surprised by cute texts of love every other
week or so. Whether he’s crying or laughing, it’s adorable. Visiting him is the
most exciting thing ever. He’s so chubby and beautiful. His parents are the
best and their dog loves Ben.
Boundaries
between the triad: Honestly, we have such an easy, open communication that
there aren’t really boundaries. On my side, I try not to ask to see him so
often, or ask for pictures. I like to keep it away from them how much the
separation hurts me. There is no contract to follow, it’s based on mutual
trust.
Miracle:
It’s a miracle that there is a couple in the same state as me that speaks
Spanish, plays the piano, and has a dog with the same name as your boyfriend.
Messy Inside: I think this can be summarized with one quote;
“You will feel better than this, maybe not yet, but you will. You just keep living until you are alive
again.” –Call the Midwife
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