Saturday, November 14, 2015

Knit Together by Adoption

November is National Adoption Awareness Month! Despite the fact that many people are affected by adoption in some way, people don't really talk about it, or understand it. I wanted to make a post with some more facts on adoption, and maybe answer some questions. #knittogetherbyadoption has a daily prompt which I used as a base to my post. This is part 1 of 2. Follow along with other's stories on Instagram using the hashtag. The goal is awareness.

Fact: One of the saddest facts about this fallen world is that delivering a baby costs an average of $3,500 (not including prenatal visits,) an adoption can cost up to $50,000; an abortion is only $350.
   
      Introduction: I became pregnant in my senior year of high school; my boyfriend didn’t want to have a baby and I am against abortion. I chose my couple after looking on the LDS adoption website. I decided I would be just a birthmother before my first trimester even ended.

      Your thoughts before on adoption: I knew only one birthmother and had read her story when I was about 16 thinking “Oh, that’s kind of sad.” To me, adoption wasn’t really an option; if you get pregnant, you become a parent, right? Obviously you would keep your baby and get married and live happily ever after, right?
   
      Your thoughts after on adoption: Adoption can be the best option! Being a single, poor, uneducated mother, versus killing your baby, versus creating a beautiful baby to give to an amazing, deserving couple. Being a birthmother is agonizing. Being a hopeful adopter is agonizing. Watching girls take their babies for granted is infuriating. Reading adoption stories or hopeful adoptive couple’s stories is heart-wrenching. But adoption is beautiful.

          How we met: I met my adoptive couple at the end of August, 2014. They drove down to Logan, Utah to have dinner with me. I wasn’t even showing yet. We talked and ate for about two hours, asking a lot of questions about my life and pregnancy and their side of the adoption. It was amazing, and there was surprisingly no pressure. I felt like they were already a major part of my life, and I was so glad that the connection we had made through emails became even stronger.

      What makes you smile: Ben! His mom sends me pictures of him being adorable and it is so wonderful. I love getting surprised by cute texts of love every other week or so. Whether he’s crying or laughing, it’s adorable. Visiting him is the most exciting thing ever. He’s so chubby and beautiful. His parents are the best and their dog loves Ben.

      Boundaries between the triad: Honestly, we have such an easy, open communication that there aren’t really boundaries. On my side, I try not to ask to see him so often, or ask for pictures. I like to keep it away from them how much the separation hurts me. There is no contract to follow, it’s based on mutual trust.

      Miracle: It’s a miracle that there is a couple in the same state as me that speaks Spanish, plays the piano, and has a dog with the same name as your boyfriend.

       Messy Inside: I think this can be summarized with one quote; “You will feel better than this, maybe not yet, but you will. You just keep living until you are alive again.–Call the Midwife

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