I didn't know what to expect emotionally, after all I lost this pregnancy at only 5 weeks; I only knew about it for a couple days. But I'm sad. I'm let down. Obviously depressed and angry. I feel like a failure. And I'm crazy jealous because two people I've worked with just had their babies in the past couple weeks.
So I did the only thing I know how to do to cope: retail therapy. I bought baby Houston #1 some booties and a blanket. Because I'm literally hoarding baby stuff in my old room at my mom's house. She always looks kinda bumbed at me when she sees that the pile keeps growing.
I don't know if we'll start trying again soon. I'm ready for a baby. But I'm not ready for more being let down, or worse, heartbreak and loss.
I'm dreaming of an Italian vacation for sunshine and gelato, or an escape to Hawaii to eat tons of pineapple and pina coladas.
/// Happy Birthday Houston #1 ///
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